Rough Ride by Paul Kimmage

Author:Paul Kimmage [Kimmage, Paul]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: General, Sports & Recreation
ISBN: 9781409078340
Publisher: Random House
Published: 2009-06-29T00:00:00+00:00

16

THE FAB FOUR

The repression of amphetamines through dope controls has had varying consequences. The use of the drug in the major tours and championships is minimal, almost non-existent. It is number one on the controllers' list and is easily detectable. The current trend is towards a different area of doping: hormones. They are natural, the body produces them and so detection of hormone abuse is difficult. The 'sin' lies not in taking illegal products, but in getting caught. Hormones, when used intelligently, offer the security of undetectability. The abuse is frightening.

An amphetamine charge lasts roughly three hours and is then flushed out of the system. Frequent use can result in addiction and maybe one or two problems with heart rhythm – but nothing too serious. Hormones are different. They don't flush out after three hours. They screw up the body's chemistry, lingering in the system for months, even years. Abuse can result in cancer and death. I was tempted many times to try hormones. I could see their beneficial effects on other members of the team, but the consequences of abuse scared me and I never touched them. I did, however, dabble with amphetamines.

I used them twice in criteriums shortly after Château Chinon. In twenty months of professionalism I had stayed clean but, incredibly, in the space of two weeks I charged on three occasions. It becomes so easy to slip into a routine. Once you experience the feeling of invincibility it is hard to race with just Vittel in your bottle, especially when you see other riders taking stuff.

I had always taken pride in my strength of character and my new habit started to worry me. I was losing control of my ability to say no, and on analysing the problem I decided never again to put myself in the position of riding a criterium without having trained. It was difficult at first but I managed to hold out. Even so, I never felt comfortable starting a criterium without at least two vitamin C tablets in my drinking bottle. I suppose it was doping, but at least it was legal. In my two final years in the peloton I stayed clean, but I am not particularly proud of this. There were many reasons why I never again touched it – a guilty conscience was the principal one, but there were other factors. I suppose you could say I was 'chicken'. The fear of being caught terrified me. The scandal it would have caused back in good old Catholic Ireland would have ruined me for life. I couldn't bear to bring that shame on my parents. But there was another factor. I was not prepared actually to stick the needle into my own arm. When my team-mates did it, I would look away. It was not a fear of pain or of needles, it was just the act of doping oneself that I found repellent. Another reason was the acquisition of the amphetamines. I had heard stories of police raids on riders' cars, and this scared me.

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